Patterns

In my opinion the hardest pattern to change would have to be symmetrical pattern. Competition is an everyday life thing. You are always trying to one up someone or gain a better position in life. You are fighting to one up someone in everyday life.

The most damaging to a relationship would have to be rigid complementarity.  In the book it says, “When the submissive partner begins to resent always giving in or when the dominant partner begins to tire of being in charge, dissatisfaction can result. “ (Page 140) This is very true, I know it is very hard to take the back seat and let someone take control, especially when you’re so used to being in charge or disagree with the person in charge. Even being someone who always has to be in charge or make the family decisions it can become tiring because you may feel like it’s time for someone else to take initiative.

The most damaging to self-esteem would have to be complementary pattern.  One partner takes the one-up position and the other takes the one-down. (page 140) One person gets the short end of the stick. I feel like the person who takes the one down must feel like they do not have enough responsibility or don’t feel adequate enough to have an authority position.